My Car Repositioned Itself

I do not fly anywhere any more. I used to fly, but what with TSA feel-ups and planes crashing apparently with pilot intervention, I found ground-based transportation more to my liking. And, believe it or not, unless you are planning to travel to a destination more than 600 miles from your home base, by the time you park, check in, get felt up, get delayed on the runway, arrive, get baggage, rent a car and finally get to your destination, you could have driven in comfort, arriving about the same time or earlier than if you had flown. A side benefit is that you are not required to pay extra fees for a) putting your baggage in the “luggage” area, nor b) pay an outrageous fee for taking 3 or more bags.

If you have not already decided to drive, take a bus, or even ride your bike, here is what could happen in a plane accident:

Recently, a plane crashed in San Francisco. Almost no fatalities. In fact, there were only 2.

One was listed as accidental, due to a “firetruck repositioning¬† itself.” Now I have seen a fire truck or 2 in my lifetime. Even played with toy firetrucks as a boy. But, in all my years of experience with Fire Trucks and Other Large Vehicles, I have yet to see one that would “reposition itself” without much assistance from a “Driver.” And yet, lo and behold, we were told by Government Officials that the young lady was run over while a firetruck was repositioning itself. And, not one news report I saw ever even once remarked about what a wonderful feat that is, that a firetruck, totally unsupervised by anyone, could “reposition itself” on top of an injured person.

And, now, today, on Faux News, a reporter looked at the camera with a straight face and factually reported that the other fatality of the plane crash might have suffered a “similar fate.” She did not bother to mention that the “similar fate” was being run over by a careless firetruck driver. She did not even question why such an disingenuous statement would be issued, nor why it has taken about 2 weeks for anyone to even look at why the 2nd person died.

“Hi, I’m from the Government, and I am here to help you”

Yeah, sure. By the way, I have a bridge or 2 for sale. Wanna buy one?