Global Phones-to-Toilets Ratio

According to those wonderful folks at the United Nations, you know, those useless old men who steal money from the “corporation” so they can get promoted.

Back to the “According to:” Statistically, more people can make a phone call than can take a shit. 

Yes, No shit, according to the UN, India has more cell phones than toilets. That’s the headline buzzing over the wires today, thanks to the latest phones-to-toilets ratio released by the United Nations.

Change dot org, more of those wonderful, non-conservative truth-tellers: It’s a “tragic irony” that India is wealthy enough to provide its people with so many phones, and yet so many “cannot afford the basic necessity and dignity of a toilet,” says the director of the UN think tank behind the new report, Zafar Adeel. It’s an irony that applies globally, too: this year, the International Telecommunication Union reports, the number of mobile subscriptions is expected to surpass five billion. By contrast, some 2.6 billion people — or nearly 40% of the world population — can call someone to tell them they can’t take a shit, while 16% of the world deficates in public every day.

They did not mention in the reports just how many can shit while texting or tweeting someone. Nor did they mention how many of the public deficators were multitasking out of both ends at the same time.

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